Throw your Playstation 4 out of the window. Frisbee your FIFA 16 discs into the nearest bin - or trash receptable, for our American friends. Toss that bin into a much bigger bin. Set it on fire, providing it is safe to do so. Then, come back and join our live commentary as Tottenham Hotspur host Manchester City at White Hart Lane. Real football, with real consequences of defeat other than a smashed controller. None of this virtual, unrealistic balderdash. Now let's get started before the CEO of EA triangulates our location and has us clipped. Viva la Sonic.

Speaking of building dream teams because money is no object, could we perhaps see Kevin De Bruyne, Raheem Sterling, David Silva, Sergio Aguero and Yaya Toure in the same side this afternoon? I suppose there's only one way to find out. But first, have a listen at what the boys down at Sports Mole HQ have had to say on this one. Go ahead.

SPURS XI: Lloris (c), Walker, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies; Alli, Dier; Eriksen, Son, Lamela; Kane

CITY XI: Caballero, Sagna, Demichelis, Otamendi, Kolarov, Fernando, Fernandinho, De Bruyne, Sterling, Toure, Aguero

SPURS SUBS: Vorm, Rose, Trippier, Carroll, Chadli, Townsend, Clinton

CITY SUBS: Hart, Kompany, Zabaleta, Nasri, Navas, Roberts, Barker

Being polite, let's start with Citeh and we can tell you that Manuel Pellegrini makes three changes from the 2-1 defeat by West Ham; one of them being Joe Hart, which we didn't expect. Wily Caballero comes in between the sticks, while Vincent Kompany, who is fit, can only make the bench. Nicolas Otamendi continues at centre-back, but it's beside Martin Demichelis rather than Eliaquim Mangala. Further forward, Fernando displaces Jesus Navas, which may suggest that Yaya Toure takes on a more advanced role. No Silva, who remains sidelined, but De Bruyne, Sterling and Aguero all start!

On to Spurs now and Mauricio Pochettino makes just the one change from that 1-0 win over Crystal Palace I think, with Christian Eriksen returning in place of Nacer Chadli. Despite not scoring in any of his EIGHT games this season, Harry Kane continues to lead the line. Last week's hero Son Heung-min remains in the side, of course, as does Erik Lamela. Eric Dier continues in a defensive midfield role, and it's the same back four that kept a clean sheet last time around.

Right, the EA helicopter is hovering over my building as we speak, and their shooters will be rappelling through the window soon, but let's have a look at both sides' form before that happens, shall we?

So, things have looked a little brighter for Spurs in recent weeks. Prior to losing 2-1 to North London rivals Arsenal in the Capital One Cup on Wednesday, Pochettino's men had won their previous two. They had to wait five games before picking up a win, when they beat lowly Sunderland, before following that one up with a 1-0 home win over Crystal Palace last week.

To make matters worse, star striker Harry Kane, who scored 31 times last term, literally can't buy a goal yet this season. Why does everybody always use the word 'literally' in that sentence, by the way? Anywho, the 22-year-old hitman has drawn a blank in his first EIGHT outings this season. Eight. If he wants to dispell this one-season wonder label then he'll need to start scoring.

And City? Well, Pellegrini's troops were flying higher than a weekend in Amsterdam up until last Saturday. The Sky Blues, who won their first five Premier League outings, were turned over by West Ham United who left Eastlands with a shock 2-1 win. There is a sense, though, that the Citizens are swiftly getting it out of their system, having smashed Sunderland 4-1 in League Cup action during the week.

What's this? Here's the Konami helicopter, packed with Pro Evo hitmen, coming to rescue us from the evil FIFA. There's a fire fight taking place on the roof as we speak. No word of a lie. It might be a lie. Moving on, and let's remind of ourselves of how good Aguero used to be. This is him scoring FOUR against Spurs at Eastlands last term.

What are we putting Aguero's form down to then? Pellegrini said the Argentine was not in a "bad moment" (he's from Chile, folks) recently and expects him to come good here. And why not? The 27-year-old has scored TEN times against Tottenham in the past. Aguero is to Tottenham what David Cameron is to piglet. We can already hear another helicopter powering up.

Anywho, you just wouldn't back against him reaching, say, 11 or 12 against Spurs in total this afternoon, would you? Me neither.

PREDICTION! Right we're just under 20 minutes from kickoff. Prediction? Why not. We're punting for a 2-1 Manchester City win and, yep, you guessed it, Aguero will score. He has to. Let's have a look to see what Twitter is making of this one, shall we.

This fellow clearly has never been in a bookies.

@SpursOfficial Never seen so many deluded score predictions in one place! Spurs 1 Man City 3 — Don't@Me (@Time2WakeyWakey) September 26, 2015

If said duck is sitting in row-z then he might. We jest. Best of luck to Mr Kane.

@SpursOfficial 2-1Eriksen with a free kick and Kane to break his duck #COYS — CHNGRXZCKY (@mustaphur) September 26, 2015

If his wife loves him she'll switch the telly off if Spurs go 1-0 down, considering City have won seven of the last eight meetings home and away!

@SpursOfficial 2-1 To the mighty Spurs! Feeling confident just back from my honeymoon and still on a high I guess #COYS #THFC

— John Benfield (@Benfield13) September 26, 2015

It was actually a hamstring injury, but point taken. Without Kompany, City looked suspect at the back in the defeat to West Ham it has to be said.

@SpursOfficial we can get 2-1 win, since kompany face injury

— Ihsan (@ehsankam) September 26, 2015

Somebody tell James that Mangala isn't starting.

@SpursOfficial 18-0

— James (@jamesd084) September 26, 2015

The Aguero bit might be spot-on. As for the rest....

@SpursOfficial 6-5 Spurs. Five goals for Aguero, six for Kane, Son to give De Bruyne a footballing lesson & Toby's hair to remain perfect. — Spurs In The Blood (@SpursInTheBlood) September 26, 2015

Five minutes to go! Excited? Me too.

KICKOFF! Beautiful day. Beautiful match. Let's go! City get us underway.

Hmm. It appears as if Vincent Kompany pulled out of the squad at the last minute. He was named among the substitutes following a hamstring injury, but he won't be involved today at all.

Early scare for Man City as Lamela goes through on goal, but he mis-timed his run and he's called offside. It was a dodgy decision to push up by Kolarov because how often have we seen those ones go against the defending team?

Speaking of early scares, Lloris's botched clearance flies straight at Sterling from outside the box, but it caught the little man by surprise and he controlled with his hand and the referee blows up. Slightly ominous from the Frenchman that.

City enjoying the best spell of the game so far as the visitors play a few crisp one-touch pases, before Sterling cuts on to his right and plays in a wonderful ball for Aguero, but Lloris comes to collect.

CLOSE! De Bruyne, who has two in his last two, tries to catch Lloris off his line from a good 25 yards and he's not far away at all. City on top. Well on top.

Wow take a bow Mr Alderweireld, who plays a brilliant ball across the field for Eriksen, whose first-time volley into the box should've been struck by Lamela, but he took a touch and the chance fizzled out. That Alderweireld ball though. He's got that in his locker, doesn't he.

CHANCE! Well this is a half chance for most, but it's not for Yaya Toure. He should be doing better. The ball drops to him kindly on the edge of the box, but he skews his left-footed effort wide of Lloris's post. Well wide.

City have pressed Tottenham really well, to the point where they're trying to play out from the back but it's been really tough for them. City the better team in this first 17 minutes or so, but there's still 73 of them left so let's not rule out Spurs just yet.

It's taken some 19 minutes but Aguero finally gets a sight at goal as he looks to bend it around Lloris, who makes a good save to concede a corner, which comes to nothing.

City have their tails up. De Bruyne plays in Sagna, whose low cross seems like it's going to be smashed by Aguero but Vertonghen got there to take the sting off the shot and it looped into Lloris's grateful arms.

The home fans chanting 'come on you Spurs' - they could do with a 12th man because 11 isn't enough at the moment. The Sky Blues bossing this in every area.

Superb counter-attacking goal from City here - but it's a mare from Walker, who cheaply loses possession to Yaya Toure deep in City's half. From there, the Ivorian surges forward like a runaway train, before playing in De Bruyne who slots it past Lloris. Superb finish. Superb run. Nightmare from Walker.

SAVE! Brilliant save from Lloris who denies City a second through Sterling. It could be a nasty few minutes for Spurs if they don't settle down.

Spurs enjoying a bit of possession now but they're not going anywhere. City have looked really good at the back. Ominously for Tottenham, big Toure is becoming more influential.

SHOT! A rare error from Otamendi allows Kane a first sight of goal, but he skews his right-footed effort well wide. He's been quiet today.

Despite Kane's miss, Tottenham are coming again. They've been much better since the goal.

SHOT! Oh dear. Erik Lamela owes Nasa a satellite. I am convinced this one has left the stadium - or perhaps our orbit. Even Michel Vorm was laughing. Pochettino wasn't.

Right, five minutes until the break and Spurs need something extra. This isn't enough because City look very, very comfortable - and they're more than capable of scoring again.

SAVE! Kane does excellently to get a shot away here but Caballero beats it away for a corner, which is dealt with by City. Better from Spurs.

Alderweireld did really well to deny Aguero here, but the Argentine wins a corner. Kolarov swings it in but Otamendi heads wide. Looks like we're going in 1-0 at the break.

CHANCE! This has to go down as a chance as Sterling's fabulous reverse ball finds Kolarov, who goes for power instead of precision in front of Lloris and the Frenchman beats it away.

What a fine finish this is as Dier drills home from what must be 25 yards. It came moments after Caballero pulled off a fine save to keep out Son, but De Bruyne squared right through the midfielder who thumped home.

Well, that was fun. De Bruyne fired the visitors into a deserved one-nil lead on 25 minutes, but Spurs hit back in timely fashion when Dier drilled a first-time drive from 25 yards, right on the stroke of half time, to square up! De Bruyne went from hero to villain a little, having played that pass straight to Dier. Really good first half that.

KICKOFF: And we're back! What a treat of a second half we've got in store here. I can feel it in my waters.

SHOT! Yaya Toure, who has a knack of generating so much power with those little side-footed shots, drills straight at Lloris from outside the box. Might've done better, but it's Yaya Toure so he can do whatever he wants.

Oh my word what is Caballero doing? He comes off his line to try and punch Lamela's brilliant free kick, but he's nowhere near it and Alderweirled flicks into an empty net. So soft from a City perspective, but Spurs won't care one bit.

That error from Caballero gets worse every time you see it unfortunately! Still, City need to regroup. They were the better side for some 44 minutes but they look punch drunk.

SUB: Yaya Toure goes off for Jesus Navas. De Bruyne will go into the number 10 role and Navas will go on the wing. Disappointing afternoon for Toure.

City are slowly but surely coming back into it. All they need is a goal, but Spurs are defending well. Navas gives them something extra.

BOOKING: Eric Dier, who levelled matters just before the break, goes into the book for a foul on Fernandinho.

He's got it! Kane breaks a eight-match goal drought. Eriksen pings a fine free kick against the crossbar and it bounces back to the unmarked Kane, who thrashes home a half-volley and credit to him because it was nowhere near as easy as it looked. Wow. Can City get back into this? It's unlikely.

BOOKING: Eriksen goes into the book for kicking the ball away and City look quite good now. Can they score twice? Certainly, but will they? This is the question.

SUB: Spurs make their first sub as Nacer Chadli displaces Eriksen. Son will go into the middle you suspect.

CLOSE! What an effort this is, and it's actually a save as Lloris tips over Navas's bullet. The corner comes to nothing.

CHANCE! Oh god it should be 3-2 but Sterling drags his effort wide, with Lloris rooted to his spot. City well on top but time running out.

What a way to kick off Saturday, with a beautiful end-to-end clash here and that's precisely what we have. Just now, Son thinks he added a fourth but he's offside.

SUB: Bill Clinton N'Jie replaces Son Heung-min now, who wasn't all that involved it must be said.

Lord knows how we got to this, but it's 4-1! It's an excellent bit of skill from N'Jie to trick Kolarov, and Lamela is totally, totally unmarked in the middle and he finds the net after toying with Caballero and Demichelis for a while.

Tottenham's defence has been super in this half and they simply don't deserve to lose this game. They're not going to either, unless something quite astounding happens.

BOOKING: Dele Alli goes into the book. Three minutes left. Manchester City just want to get out of here I think.

Wow. What a result. Don't ask me how it happened, but it did. Second-half goals from Alderweireld, Kane and Lamela added to Dier's equaliser, after he cancelled out De Bruyne's opener. Lord knows how this happened. That De Bruyne goal feels like about a year ago now. Anywho thats it from us! Hopefully you've enjoyed our coverage and we'll catch you next time!