So, Barcelona and Atletico Madrid. It's not quite El Clasico, my friends, but it is certainly the next best thing. Actually, I prefer this fixture. I do - you don't need to post that Vine. El Clasico is essentially an over-hyped, bi-annual Lionel Messi versus Cristiano Ronaldo let-down in which the other players involved try to get one another sent off with theatrics and whatnot. Do we ever emerge from one speaking the football and football alone? Barcelona - Atletico has half the billing, but twice the substance. Now they'll only go and play out the most mind-numbingly poor 0-0 draw in history.

Anywho, we've got, like, 90 minutes to kill before kickoff - and another 30 before team news begins filtering out. Shall we take a look at some previous meetings? Okay. Link my arm as we take a ramble down memory lane.

In each of the last two seasons, this fixture has determined where the Liga title has ended up, folks. In 2014, Atletico recorded a draw at Camp Nou on the final day of the season to clinch the title and break Barcelona and Real Madrid's stranglehold on the Spanish top flight. What an achivement that was. You could probably liken it to Spurs winning the Premier League.

Barca, as we know, got their own back. Not only did they reclaim the title last season in part one of what went on to be a magnificent treble, but they did it here, at the Vicente Calderon. Talk about insult to injury. Oh, and it was exactly one year later. Spooky, eh? R.L Stine eat your heart out.

The Catalans bring a four-match winning streak into this and, actually, it's only been five years since Atletico beat them! Goals from Diego Forlan and Simao did the damage in a 2-1 win. It was so long ago that Atleti actually had a Velociraptor at left-back. It was so long ago that Adam and Eve were presented to fans at half time. You get the point.

As if they needed any more incentive to pick up a win here, but Barca also knocked them out of the Copa del Rey last term with victory home and away. Messi netted an 85th-minute to seal a 1-0 win at Camp Nou, before the return leg threw up a 3-2 away win thanks to a couple from Neymar.

The Blaugrana also won both in the Primera Liga, pulling off a 3-1 win at home, before Messi netted again in the away fixture to clinch the title. See? Unlike the Ashley Madison leak, these two tend to engage in low-profile affairs. There's not many goals and don't be surprised to see another low-scoring encounter this evening.

But it's still better than El Clasico. Yep, like Rambo messing around with superglue before a firefight, we're sticking to our guns here.

Speaking of Rambo, it's very nearly time to see both teams' arsenal for tonight's clash. The big question is whether or not Messi will play. His partner gave birth to the couple's second son the other night and presumably it's been a hectic 48 hours for the diminutive genius. Watch this space.

But before we look at team news, because they haven't actually been released yet, have a look at how Messi himself clinched the Liga title for the Catalans in May.

ATLETICO XI: Oblak; Juanfran, Giminez, Godin, Luis; Tiago, Gabi, Koke, Oliver; Griezmann, Torres

BARCA XI: Ter Stegen; Roberto, Mascherano, Vermaelen, Alba; Busquets, Iniesta, Rakitic; Rafinha, Suarez, Neymar

ATLETICO SUBS: Moya, Savic, Gamez, Saul, Carrasco, Vietto, Martinez

BARCA SUBS: Masip, Adriano, Bartra, Mathieu, Munir, Sandro, Messi

Starting with Atletico, Mr Simeone makes just the one change from the 3-0 win at Sevilla, with Jesus Gamez dropping out at left-back for Felipe Luis. No place for Jackson Martinez, who netted his first Atletico goal in that rout, as Torres continues to partner Griezmann.

On to Barcelona now and Luis Enrique makes two changes. Claudio Bravo drops out for Marc Andre ter Stegen, while Messi indeed has the baby blues so Rafinha relegates him to the bench. Bravo, on the other hand, must be injured because he's not even in the squad. Hmm. Anywho, we've still got Luis Suarez and Neymar to look forward for a Barcelona perspective.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Barcelona's astoundingly good triumvirate of Messi, Neymar and Suarez? Having scored 122 goals between them last term, they're about as dangerous as Abu Hamza, drink-driving, in Compton. They are officially the highest scoring trio in the history of Spanish football. Can any defence stop them? You really wouldn't rule out another treble, would you?

Of course, Atletico are no pushovers in the final third, with Antoine Griezmann - who scored 25 goals in his first season last term - and new boy Jackson Martinez sure to score goals aplenty this term. Oh, and they've got Fernando Torres. Okay so their attacking options are not as rich as their Catalan counterparts, but they have more than enough talent to mount a title bid.

Simeone's men endured a largely disappointing defence of their crown last time around, finishing 16 points and two places behind Barcelona. It is worth noting that they lost Diego Costa and Filipe Luis last summer, two prominent factors in their title success of 2014. Hopefully they can do better this time around because a three-horse race for the title is better than a two-horse race, I'm sure you'll agree.

So, we've been here for an hour already. Time flies when we're having fun, and here's footage of another classic between both sides. We probably should have kept the dinosaur and Adam and Eve lines for this one, but hindsight is a great thing. Anywho, enjoy.

We've still got, say, 30 minutes before showtime. If we haven't whet your appetite enough then have a read of our excellent preview of the contest here.

We're coming into the final stretch now and can Barcelona win this without Messi? You get the feeling that, having seen Ronaldo open his account with FIVE goals at Espanyol earlier, it might have spurred on the Argentine to register his first goal(s) of the season. I hope his newborn son is happy with himself. He's only in the world for five minutes and he is already causing problems for his dear old dad. We jest. But seriously.

Still, you have to assume - and hope, if you're a Barcelona fan - that there's more to their team than Messi - and their is. Rakitic, Iniesta, Neymar and Suarez are fairly decent. Just a bit. And with Rafinha, who is no mug himself, you have to believe they can still cause problems here.

That being said, they won both of their openers 1-0 in games which Messi failed to score in. So, hmm, maybe he is quite influential after all. Who knew?

Right, we're 19 minutes from kickoff now. Prediction? Anyone? Okay, and I'm going for a 2-1 away win. Despite Messi's absence from the first XI, I reckon Barcelona have enough quality in other areas to compensate - even if it is Atletico. The hosts certainly won't lie down, but I don't fancy them to come away with anything.

Let's go out and about and find what Twitter is saying, shall we?

Even Barcelona fans don't fancy it without Messi tonight!

My prediction Atletico 3-1 Barcelona pic.twitter.com/BNCzEhdXYQ

— Sergi Samper (@FCBSamper) September 12, 2015

And neither does Mr Rafa Penitez - not to be confused with Rafa Benitez.

@Northweek Atlético de Madrid 2 - 1 FC Barcelona #nwporra — Rafa Penitez (@TheJocKerGamer) September 12, 2015

Ah, finally some Ambition.

Athletico 0 vs 2 Barcelona... My prediction for tonight game #fcblive — Ambition (@wallexymilla) September 12, 2015

Twitter has spoken! Barcelona aren't winning tonight. It's unlikely, but let's see if the Twitter natives are wrong for once. Nine minutes until showtime!

Atlético 2-1 Barcelona, ya me lo vi. — Juan Pablo Romero (@pitoromero14) September 12, 2015

Five minutes, my friends. What a game this'll be. Don't go anywhere because we're underway very, very shortly.

Suarez and Torres have one of those hand-over-the-mouth conversations: "Did you see Liverpool tonight lol?"

KICKOFF: And we're off! Barcelona get us underway. Let's go.

SHOT! Torres volleys over the bar early on for a warning shot to Barcelona. Actually, it probably ended up in Barcelona. It was that far away.

No Messi as we mentioned, but Neymar looks poised to take up the mantle of tormenting Atletico tonight. He looks in the mood for this big time but no chances to speak of as of yet.

Barcelona bossing possession so far, as expected, but Griezmann looks to play in Torres just there but his pass was too heavy and Ter Stegen gobbles up the chance. It's not as cagey as we expected. Expect goals folks.

Suarez has been martialled very well by Jose Giminez in these early stages I must say. That's twice he's found himself in an acre of space down Atletico's left, but the big centre half has done excellently on both occasions. He'll have to keep up that concentration throughout.

Suarez is up to his old tricks as he goes under like a sack of spuds holding his face. To be fair, there was contact from Gabi, who actually looked like he intentionally elbowed him, but there was minimal contact.

CHANCE! It's taken 15 minutes but we've had a chance. It's Iniesta as he does brilliantly to evade a few challenges before playing in the unmarked Rakitic, whose first-time shot from out right was parried by Oblak. Good save and the corner comes to nothing.

CHANCE! What is Mascherano thinking about here? He runs the ball out of defence and has his pocket picked by Griezmann, who plays in Torres as the Spaniard gallops toward goal before thrashing wide with his left foot. The Torres of, say, five years ago and Ter Stegen is picking the ball out of net.

We're approaching the midway point in the first half and both sides have certainly had chances but it remains 0-0. As we mentioned in build-up, these affairs tend to be very tight affairs.

OFF THE BAR! Oh my word it could, and definitely should, be 1-0, as Rakitic's corner is flicked on to the far post by Mascherano but Suarez, with the goal gaping, pokes against the bar!

BARCA SUB: Sadly, Thomas Vermaelen, who endured an injury-ravaged first season, hobbles off and he's replaced by Jeremy Mathieu.

We're about 15 minutes from the break and apologies for saying this wasn't cagey - it is! Big time. I can't see a goal before the break it's looking very, very unlikely.

CHANCE! Oh my Suarez is fuming - and rightly so. The Uruguayan looks to be through on goal but he has to turn back, before playing in the unmarked Neymar, who evades a couple of challenges but, instead of squaring back to Suarez, who was in a much shooting position, Neymar shoots and Giminez blocks. Suarez is disgusted.

The subsequent corner comes to nothing, by the way. It's better from Barca but they really should be ahead.

Luis Enrique doesn't look best believed in the Barca dugout. Actually, he's furious with his team. Will he throw Messi on? Rafinha hasn't done a whole lot.

Atletico look determined to finish the half on top as Gabi lobs in a corner but Mathieu - who looks a little like Tintin - heads away well. Vermaelen going off was a blow but Mathieu is well capable of deputising.

BOOKING: Filipe Luis goes into the book for a cynical push on Rafinha.

BOOKING: It's all very stop-start now as Iniesta also goes into the book for tripping Gabi. Atletico whip it into the area, but Ter Stegen takes.

So, 0-0 at the break, but Barcelona should be ahead. Rakitic and Neymar both wasted decent chances, while Suarez, with the goal gaping, somehow poked against the crossbar. At the other end, Torres had Atletico's only noteworthy chance, but Vermaelen - who hobbled off with injury - got across well to force the Spaniard to thrash wide.

KICKOFF: Atletico kick us off and already fashion a chance straight from kickoff, as Oliver rushes toward before dragging his left-footed effort wide.

PENALTY APPEAL! Oh my word how is this not a penalty? Torres's cross is handled by Mascherano, who has his hands criminally high, but the referee is having none of it!

Barcelona just haven't started. It's all Atletico in these early stages folks.

What a fantastic goal this is and it's nothing less than Atletico deserve in this second half. Torres races through on goal following Tiago's perfectly-weighted ball and casually slots it beyond Ter Stegen for the opener. Take a bow Tiago what a pass.

Sorry but this is stunning folks. Absolutely stunning. Barcelona provide an immediate riposte when Neymar wins a foul on the edge of the area, before floating one of the best free kicks you'll see this season past Oblak. Right in the corner. Stunning.

Uh oh. As if conceding straight away was not enough to irk Atletico, it looks like they'll have to contend with Messi now! He's about to come on.

SUB: Yep, Messi replaces Rakitic, which is surprising, and Rafinha will drop back to midfield now presumably.

SUB: Torres now makes way for Jackson Martinez - another surprise given that Torres had, you know, scored their only goal.

© AFP

OFF THE LINE! Messi's superbly-deft through ball reaches Neymar, who opens up the body to slot past Oblak, but Diego Godin is back in the nick of time to clear off the line. Excellent from the Uruguayan.

Right, 20 minutes to play then and if anybody's going to win this it'll be Barcelona. Surely? They're well on top.

SHOT! Atletico, to their credit, also look strong and Tiago balloons one over the bar just now.

Cometh the man! Messi climbs off the bench and he probably has the winning goal here. It's a fantastic deft lay off by Suarez in the following an intricate one-touch passing move, and Messi, with Oblak to beat, goes with the outside of the left boot into the corner. Superb finish. Superb goal. Super bloke.

Ten minutes to go at the Vicente Calderon and Barcelona look on course to extend their 100% record, courtesy of Messi's goal a minute or two ago. Will they hold on?

Atleti really applying the pressure now as they look keen to finish the match on a high, but time is ticking away.

CLOSE! Almost two as Messi volleys over after good work from Neymar. Three minutes to hold on for Barcelona - but they're not holding on. It's all them now.

SHOT! Oh god. Barcelona have a free kick from an identical position as Neymar's earlier cracker, but Messi takes this one and fires it over. Well over.

CLOSE! Oh god Atleti nearly snatch a point from this as Godin pops up at the back post, but there's too much pace on the ball and the chances goes begging.

That's it! Barcelona come from behind to preserve their 100% start to the season - but boy were they pushed hard. Neymar cancelled out Torres's decent opener on 53 minutes, before Messi climbed off the bench to be the hero yet again, slotting home the winnner with 12 minutes to play. Top man. That's all we've got time for, for now. But we've got analysis and ratings to come so don't venture too far. Until then....