This season,
West Ham United have caused more upsets than telling a child the truth about Santa Clause. Ask Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester City and Chelsea if the Hammers are to be taken lightly. They specialise in unlikely victories, and this evening throws up the opportunity for them to enhance that reputation because they visit in-form
Tottenham Hotspur at White Hart Lane! Excited? Me too. Before team news, let's look at both sides' recent form.
Okay so winning away to Spurs hasn't been as impressive as beating one of England's elite away from home in recent years, but this season, the Lilywhites look good - very, very good. They have lost just ONE of their 12 Premier League outings this season - and that was a 1-0 defeat at Manchester United on the opening day of the season, courtesy of a
Kyle Walker own goal! They come into this one on the back of a 1-1 draw at Arsenal before the international break; a game in which Spurs were utterly dominant, but failed to see out what would've been a deserved victory.
Meanwhile, the Irons, who would move three points clear of
Mauricio Pochettino's side with a victory this evening, come into this one after drawing 1-1 at Everton. Prior to that, they lost 2-0 at Watford in a result which took the gloss off their early-season heroics somewhat. Still, they've got quite a few scalps in their collection this season thanks to
Slaven Bilic's rip-roaring start to life in the Premier League, and let's see if today throws up another.
It's nearly time to look at some team news, but first, have a listen to what the fellas down at
Sports Mole HQ have had to say about this one.
SPURS XI: Lloris (c), Walker, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Rose; Alli, Dier; Dembele, Eriksen, Son; Kane
WEST HAM XI: Adrian, Jenkinson, Tomkins, Reid, Cresswell, Kouyate, Noble (c), Moses, Lanzini, Sakho, Carroll
SPURS SUBS: Vorm, Trippier, Davies, Mason, Carroll, Onomah, Townsend
WEST HAMS SUBS: Spiegel (GK), Ogbonna, Oxford, Song, Antonio, Zarate, Jelavic
Starting with the hosts, Pochettino continues with
Harry Kane as the spearhead of his attack, with Kane netting five in his last three league games. The only change comes in the form of Son Heung-min, who replaces the suspended Erik Lamela for what is his first start in nearly two months following a foot injury. Moussa Dembele, along with Spurs and England's man of the moment Dele Alli, starts in midfield.
On to the visitors now and Bilic also makes one change as Diafra Sakho replaces the injured Dimitri Payet in what looks to be a 4-4-2 system, with Andy Carroll partnering Sakho in a two-pronged attack.
Manuel Lanzini, who is a fantastic footballer, also starts, but the absence of Payet is massive, considering he played such a big role in their early-season scalps away to Arsenal, Liverpool and City.
DID YOU KNOW? Fancy one or two stats to whet the appetite? Of course you do. Did you know that Tottenham have only managed one victory against their East London counterparts in the last five attempts? Yep, but did you also know that the Hammers are unbeaten in their previous three visits to White Hart Lane? There's some heartwarming statistics from the visitors perspective, isn't there?
Incidentally, with 21 points, this is West Ham's best start to a Premier League season. Bilic is the best thing to happen to East London since Michael Caine.
PREDICTION! Right, we're 20 minutes from kickoff. Let's get a prediction wrong fairly wrong, shall we? Why not. While West Ham are certainly adept on tricky away days like this, it's still so hard to look past the Lilywhites, given their form. I'm on a 3-1 Spurs win.
Let's see what the boys and girls on Twitter say.
Go home Ryan you're drunk.
Jon, who looks suspiciously like Garth Crooks, is on the same wavelength as us.
Taylor is a bit over-dressed for watching the man at home, isn't he?
Right, the players are lining up in the tunnel. I think we'll have a quick rendition of La Marseillaise in memory of the 130 people who died in the Paris terrorist attacks nine days ago.
Players? Check. Weird Darth Maul music to greet said players? Check.
KICKOFF: And we're off in North London. The Clarets, playing from left to right, get us underway. I fancy goals - four to be exact. Cue a 0-0 draw.
It's been all Spurs so far by way of possession. It'll be interesting to see how Son stands up in what is his first start for essentially two months. Spurs fans certainly in fine voice early on.
Good defending from Winston Reid as he snuffs out the danger to head away Alli's lofted through ball for Kane. It's all Tottenham, but the visitors have been superb defensively against the big sides this season. The hosts will be taking nothing for granted.
Carroll and Sakho, the strikers in the visitors' 4-4-2, have seen barely anything of the ball so far, but it's still very early. The visitors have big problems keeping the ball and getting it back, but here's a set piece...
SHOT! Good lord. West Ham have a chance to float a free kick into the box, where the likes of Carroll are lurking, but it's played short to Cresswell who fires out of the stadium.
We've seen our first sight at Victor Moses, who shows Dembele a clean pair of heels at the byline before pulling back for Sakho, but Alderweireld cleared the danger.
It's been better from West Ham in recent minutes and, actually, for all of Spurs' possession, West Ham have looked that bit more dangerous going forward.
Dembele is a Terminator, isn't he? You can't get the ball off him, nor can you ever relax when he's around. He doesn't look strong but he's got the upper body strength of an ox and, crucially, he can play a bit too. He's a wonderful player.
Good skill from Sakho here to fool Danny Rose, but his outside-of-the-boot cross is cleared by Spurs. Prior to that, the hosts were building a bit of momentum but nothing doing.
We were singing Dembele's praises a moment or two ago, but we didn't mention his speed. Moses tries to beat him for pace here, but the big Belgian keeps up with him and wrestles possession away. He's the all-action midfielder.
SAVE! It's taken 21 minutes but finally we've got a save, as Adrian tips away Eriksen's fierce drive from outside the box. Fine hit and a fine save to match. 'Come on you Spurs' echoes around White Hart Lane now.
GOAL! Spurs 1-0 West Ham United (Harry Kane)
We've got the breakthrough at White Hart Lane, and it's that man Harry Kane again. Dele Alli's scuffed shot finds him, but he's got the brilliant awareness to spin Jenkinson rather than take a touch and he then just lashes home from close range. Excellent goal.
OFF THE BAR! Goodness me what a response this would've been. It's Sakho, whose overhead kick from about 10 yards out cannons off the crossbar. He was offside, but the flag stayed down. It would've counted.
Jenkinson whips a very decent ball into the box now as Carroll takes flight, but Spurs get it away. They need to do more of that. With Carroll's height, he's always a threat from deliveries like that, but the visitors haven't given him enough of that service.
Still, the visitors have done enough in this first half-an-hour or so to suggest that there's goals there for them this evening, but for the moment, Spurs fairly comfortable. Here's a corner...
GOAL! Spurs 2-0 West Ham United (Toby Alderweireld)
If Spurs were comfortable before then they're really in cruise control now. It's a brilliant corner from Alderweireld, who brilliantly loses the marking of Reid to nod home at the front post. Bilic looks like he's caught his wife in bed with his brother. You can understand his frustrations.
OFF THE BAR! Oh my word it's almost 3-0 as Alli heads against the crossbar after Adrian failed to hold Son's outside-of-the-boot effort. The Hammers are all at sea now. They need a bit of leadership but nobody's speaking, nobody's organising.
MISS! Oh my word what a miss from Kane, who gets this horribly, horribly wrong. He's one-on-one with Adrian but he curls well wide with his left foot. He punches the ground in frustration.
Spurs are going to get a third before the break unless somebody in a West Ham shirts sorts out the defence. It's been an abysmal defensive showing in the last 10 minutes or so.
HALF TIME: Spurs 2-0 West Ham
So, that's it for one half and Spurs have been utterly dominant. It could be about 5-1, but it's only 2-0. Harry Kane spun Jenkinson to open the scoring in fine fashion, before
Toby Alderweireld headed home a second. Prior to that, Kouyate had been denied by the crossbar, while Alli and Kane both then missed gilt-edged chances to make it 3-0. But there's always a danger with a two-goal lead and Spurs will know that going into the second half.
RESTART! And we are back, my friends. Spurs, leading 2-0 thanks to goals from Kane and Alderweireld, kick us off. They could be out of sight truth be told, having missed a host of first-half chances, but it's only two and while it is, West Ham are still in it - just about.
Unfortunately for you West Ham fans, it seems very much as you were. Spurs still totally in control if this first three minutes are anything to go by.
GOAL! Spurs 3-0 West Ham (Kane)
Good lord what is James Tomkins thinking about here? He gives the ball straight to Kane, who takes one touch and drills a fierce shot beneath the body of Adrian from outside the box. Stick a fork in it.
SAVE! If West Ham were a dog, you'd have to shoot them because this is getting cruel - very cruel. It should be four but Adrian pulls off a fine save to keep out Eriksen's volley after his save to thwart Son caused the ball to loop up in the air.
We flagged Payet's absence before the contest, but don't get it twisted - this performance is nothing to do with him not being here. Defensively, it's a comedy of errors back there.
This is a superb block from Winston Reid, and a crucial one as he slides in for a last-gasp block on Son following a brilliant Spurs move it has to be said. Defensively, they've been absolutely useless.
Good defending from Son here as he makes a bit of a mug of poor Moses on the left wing. It's been better from the visitors in recent minutes, though. Still, it's a huge ask.
Good ball by Sakho finds Jenkinson, but he's running out of pitch and his cross is held comfortably by Lloris, who's had very little to do in this.
DOUBLE SUB: Carroll and Moses depart for Jelavic and Zarate. They certainly need a change but it's too late for that surely. Twenty five to play.
BOOKING: There's a bit of melee here now as Noble and Alli kick-start a fracas in which both of them are booked. Nothing in it to be fair.
SUB: Another fine display from Alli, who is replaced by Ryan Mason now after picking up a fairly silly booking. Twenty minutes to go.
Jenkinson has had something of a mare tonight it has to be said. He does well to nick the ball from Dembele, but then he goes and puts Adrian in a bit of bother with a crazy back pass which the Spaniard just about deals with.
Fourteen minutes to go and the clash is getting a bit feisty now. It was two girls fighting over the bill at dinner feisty, but now it's two drunk lads fighting over a drunk girl feisty. Hopefully we get through the final quarter without a dismissal.
As I said, if West Ham were a dog you'd put them down. It's been a miserable away performance. Okay they're missing Payet, but they could still Payet and not leak the kind of stupid goals which they shipped today. It's no excuse.
CHANCE! Spurs very nearly have the icing on the cake as the ball falls kindly for Mason, who drills a right-footed shot straight at Adrian from close range.
GOAL! Spurs 4-0 West Ham (Kyle Walker)
It's an excellent finish, but this is like playing your arthritis-ridden granny in FIFA. It's just so, so, so easy for Walker, who nonchalantly swerves into the far corner past Adrian. Cresswell wasn't bothered.
GOAL! Spurs 4-1 West Ham (Lanzini)
Now then - is it definitely over? Yes, yes it is, but it's a fine goal as Lanzini brings out a few step-overs to deceive Walker, before smashing into the roof of the net. Excellent finish.
THREE MINUTES ADDED ON:
FULL TIME: Spurs 4-1 West Ham United
Well, that's that. Cheers for joining our live text commentary on an evening in which Spurs well and truly put West Ham to the sword, and we'll see you next time.